1
00:00:00,781 --> 00:00:03,846
My relationship with my
phone is pretty serious.

2
00:00:03,914 --> 00:00:06,349
I eat...

3
00:00:06,416 --> 00:00:10,186
Sleep... And breathe it.

4
00:00:15,346 --> 00:00:16,746
It keeps me level.

5
00:00:16,814 --> 00:00:19,983
But my coworker Henry believes
that being so close to my phone

6
00:00:20,050 --> 00:00:22,318
is what's keeping me from
being close to non-phones,

7
00:00:22,386 --> 00:00:24,788
like people, so I've been
making more of an effort to...

8
00:00:24,855 --> 00:00:26,322
Good morning, Eliza.

9
00:00:26,390 --> 00:00:28,424
Good morning, Henry.

10
00:00:28,492 --> 00:00:29,659
How are you today?

11
00:00:29,846 --> 00:00:31,313
I didn't really care how he was today,

12
00:00:31,381 --> 00:00:32,714
but I had learned to ask anyway.

13
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,583
I'm quite well. Thank you for asking.

14
00:00:34,651 --> 00:00:37,052
I had a, uh, protein-rich breakfast

15
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,954
that I ingested outside, in the garden.

16
00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:40,355
The weather was quite mild.

17
00:00:40,423 --> 00:00:42,858
Watched an episode of
"Bones" on the treadmill.

18
00:00:42,926 --> 00:00:44,259
Then I broke out some new bath products

19
00:00:44,327 --> 00:00:45,427
I've been meaning to try.

20
00:00:45,495 --> 00:00:46,595
Yeah, it was Rosemary...

21
00:00:46,663 --> 00:00:47,996
Henry says maintaining eye contact

22
00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:49,831
makes people think
you're listening to them,

23
00:00:49,899 --> 00:00:51,566
even if what you're really thinking about

24
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,969
is whether or not Jay and
Beyonc� have a pre-nup.

25
00:00:54,037 --> 00:00:55,337
What are your thoughts on that?

26
00:00:55,405 --> 00:00:56,772
Of course they have a pre-nup.

27
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,674
There's a billion dollars on the elevator!

28
00:00:58,741 --> 00:00:59,975
I see.

29
00:01:00,043 --> 00:01:01,476
Well, good job pretending to listen.

30
00:01:01,544 --> 00:01:04,079
And why don't I hold on to your
phone for the staff meeting?

31
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:04,980
Sure.

32
00:01:05,048 --> 00:01:08,650
Let me just, uh... Mmm!

33
00:01:10,219 --> 00:01:11,153
All yours.

34
00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:12,587
You could've just said no.

35
00:01:15,725 --> 00:01:18,226
Team, take a look around you.

36
00:01:18,294 --> 00:01:19,928
What do you see?

37
00:01:21,130 --> 00:01:23,231
- Windows?
- Todd from accounting.

38
00:01:23,299 --> 00:01:24,166
Bagels?

39
00:01:24,233 --> 00:01:26,368
Dark? Darkness?

40
00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:27,736
Endless night?

41
00:01:27,804 --> 00:01:29,905
I see a family.

42
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:33,775
A publicly held children's
pharmaceutical family.

43
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,078
The more connected our family is,

44
00:01:36,145 --> 00:01:39,014
the more our business will thrive.

45
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,983
Joan is about to distro an article

46
00:01:41,050 --> 00:01:43,919
that will show us how to
increase coworker connectivity.

47
00:01:43,987 --> 00:01:45,554
Joan?

48
00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:48,890
Sir, I think I've got the wrong article.

49
00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:51,393
This is, uh, an interview
with Channing Tatum.

50
00:01:51,461 --> 00:01:53,161
And I know what you're thinking...

51
00:01:53,229 --> 00:01:55,330
what does "Magic Michael" have to teach me?

52
00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:57,733
The answer, my friend, is everything.

53
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,034
Uh, I-I'm sorry.

54
00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:00,902
He and his wife rate how
close they feel to one another

55
00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:03,305
- on a scale of 1 to 10?
- Let's try it out.

56
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:07,075
Larry, I want you to cup
Henry's face in your hand...

57
00:02:07,143 --> 00:02:08,610
I don't see anything about cup... hmm.

58
00:02:08,678 --> 00:02:09,911
Look him in the eye

59
00:02:09,979 --> 00:02:12,180
and tell him, on a scale of 1 to 10,

60
00:02:12,248 --> 00:02:14,316
how close you feel to him right now.

61
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,352
I'm feeling a 9.

62
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:19,021
Wally-kazam!

63
00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:22,491
Linda, how are you feeling
about Raj from H.R.? Huh?

64
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,861
I'll go with a 5.

65
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,397
I mean, he seems nice,

66
00:02:28,464 --> 00:02:30,399
but he's only been here a few weeks.

67
00:02:30,466 --> 00:02:31,366
"Seems nice."

68
00:02:31,434 --> 00:02:33,168
That's an excellent start, Raj.

69
00:02:35,304 --> 00:02:37,205
I feel an 8 for Joan.

70
00:02:37,273 --> 00:02:39,608
She's very helpful,

71
00:02:39,675 --> 00:02:42,677
and I like that she packs
her own lunch from home,

72
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:43,645
because I do that, too.

73
00:02:43,713 --> 00:02:44,846
Huzzah!

74
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,816
Raj sees himself in Joan.

75
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:49,885
Come on. What more could you ask for?

76
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,854
I give Eliza a zero.

77
00:02:55,124 --> 00:02:58,160
But she probably won't
notice, because, as always,

78
00:02:58,227 --> 00:03:00,595
she's too busy staring at her phone.

79
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:05,801
Wait. What'd I miss?

80
00:03:05,868 --> 00:03:08,403
The point, I'm afraid.

81
00:03:35,398 --> 00:03:37,032
What the hell was that in there?

82
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,334
And what are you doing
eating lunch over a trash can?

83
00:03:39,402 --> 00:03:41,403
I digest better standing up.

84
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,938
That is really antisocial behavior.

85
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:45,240
Joan just gave you a zero in that
meeting. Are you not concerned?

86
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,508
Yeah!

87
00:03:46,576 --> 00:03:49,077
But Joan is never gonna
like me, so... Pfft.

88
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,879
Maybe 'cause you're always on your phone.

89
00:03:50,947 --> 00:03:52,280
Or maybe it's because I have

90
00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:54,483
perfectly symmetrical
features and hair like Ariel.

91
00:03:56,185 --> 00:03:59,121
Or maybe it's because of what
happened with the gazpacho.

92
00:04:00,289 --> 00:04:01,723
What happened with the gazpacho?

93
00:04:01,791 --> 00:04:03,258
Uh...

94
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,660
I'd just come from an
early-morning soulcycle class

95
00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:07,596
and forgotten to eat breakfast,

96
00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:09,664
so when I got to the office, it hit me...

97
00:04:09,732 --> 00:04:14,736
I was really, really, really,
super-super-duper hunggs.

98
00:04:14,804 --> 00:04:16,138
"Hunggs"?

99
00:04:16,205 --> 00:04:18,006
As in, like, famished.

100
00:04:18,074 --> 00:04:20,342
So I was about to legit pour
myself a bowl of banana peppers

101
00:04:20,409 --> 00:04:21,877
When I spotted it.

102
00:04:23,646 --> 00:04:25,046
Mmm.

103
00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:36,324
Mm!

104
00:04:36,392 --> 00:04:37,759
Don't tell Joan.

105
00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:39,728
I am Joan.

106
00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:44,366
Eliza, Joan is Sam
Saperstein's right-hand woman.

107
00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:46,501
She wields a lot of power at this company.

108
00:04:46,569 --> 00:04:48,003
You should know who she is.

109
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,604
And you should not eat her gazpacho

110
00:04:49,672 --> 00:04:51,706
or any of her carefully labeled foodstuffs.

111
00:04:53,109 --> 00:04:55,177
Okay. Okay.

112
00:04:57,313 --> 00:04:59,848
Your next assignment is to befriend Joan.

113
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:02,484
I'm telling you... it'll never work.

114
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,052
Joan is a miraclesuit,

115
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,722
and I am a monokini with
side-boob and hipbone cutouts.

116
00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,224
We're complete opposites.

117
00:05:09,292 --> 00:05:10,792
Same could be said of me and Larry.

118
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,962
But... Larry's not a monokini.

119
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,564
No, in this scenario, I am the monokini.

120
00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:16,965
No, you would be

121
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,967
one of those old-timey
long-sleeved bathing costumes.

122
00:05:19,035 --> 00:05:20,135
My differences with Larry

123
00:05:20,203 --> 00:05:21,536
don't prevent me from connecting with him.

124
00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:22,370
Observe.

125
00:05:22,438 --> 00:05:23,705
Larry.

126
00:05:23,773 --> 00:05:25,707
- Hiya, Henry.
- Hey, hey, smells good.

127
00:05:25,775 --> 00:05:27,542
- Yeah, chili and cheese.
- I love it.

128
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:28,843
- Yeah.
- How's the wife?

129
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:31,546
Oh, difficult. But I knew
that when I married her.

130
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,684
The old ball and chain.

131
00:05:35,751 --> 00:05:36,718
Oh, you're telling me.

132
00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:38,353
It is what it is.

133
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:39,521
Yeah.

134
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,324
- Well, catch you later.
- See you, bud.

135
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,093
Now you try it with Joan.

136
00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:46,094
Ugh!

137
00:05:46,162 --> 00:05:47,395
Okay, fine.

138
00:05:47,463 --> 00:05:49,030
Hey, Joan.

139
00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:50,865
How's the sandwich?

140
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,100
I wouldn't know.

141
00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:53,902
Someone stole my sandwich, took two bites,

142
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,170
and threw it in the trash.

143
00:05:56,505 --> 00:05:57,472
Sucks.

144
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,674
Like your husband. Am I right?

145
00:05:59,742 --> 00:06:03,044
The old ball and... Penis.

146
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:14,472
- But I did what you did.
- No, you did not.

147
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,593
I did not reference Larry's
wife's genitals. I did not.

148
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,502
I took my cues from Larry,

149
00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:21,471
whereas you were completely tone-deaf.

150
00:06:21,539 --> 00:06:23,706
- Oh, well.
- No, not "oh, well."

151
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:26,076
Try again. Do your research.

152
00:06:26,143 --> 00:06:27,577
If you want to connect with Joan,

153
00:06:27,645 --> 00:06:28,978
find out what her interests are.

154
00:06:29,046 --> 00:06:30,814
Who she be with!

155
00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:33,650
Never mind.

156
00:06:33,717 --> 00:06:35,018
I can do this.

157
00:06:35,086 --> 00:06:37,520
After all, cybersleuthing
is kind of my forte.

158
00:06:37,588 --> 00:06:40,056
And if I can find out the
true length of Ceelo's arms,

159
00:06:40,124 --> 00:06:42,392
I can def find out some dirt on Joan.

160
00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:44,394
Charmonique, help.

161
00:06:44,462 --> 00:06:46,496
I spent the whole night
trying to get to know Joan,

162
00:06:46,564 --> 00:06:47,764
but she's an Internet ghost.

163
00:06:47,832 --> 00:06:50,066
I went to MySpace and back and got Jack.

164
00:06:50,134 --> 00:06:51,835
Apparently, she's Facebook-free,

165
00:06:51,902 --> 00:06:53,670
a Twitter-quitter, Insta-invisible.

166
00:06:53,737 --> 00:06:56,072
I'm telling you, it's like...

167
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:58,141
It's just like Joan doesn't even exist.

168
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,677
Baby girl, you are looking
in all the wrong places.

169
00:07:00,744 --> 00:07:02,812
Joan doesn't do social media.

170
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,782
But she is all up on Yelp.

171
00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:06,916
Mm-hmm.

172
00:07:06,984 --> 00:07:09,519
In fact, she's a super reviewer.

173
00:07:09,587 --> 00:07:11,988
Oh, my God! This is crazy.

174
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,790
There are thousands of reviews here.

175
00:07:13,858 --> 00:07:16,459
Wow, she really has it in for
the Simi Valley Galleria...

176
00:07:16,527 --> 00:07:17,760
Mm.

177
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:20,296
"Whose food court is
sorely lacking a Wetzel's."

178
00:07:20,364 --> 00:07:22,966
Those mini dog-bites, though!

179
00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:24,100
Mm-hmm. Ooh!

180
00:07:24,168 --> 00:07:25,768
But look... five stars for miss Mandy's

181
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:28,238
Friday-night "straight up
now tone me" cardio class.

182
00:07:28,305 --> 00:07:29,739
"I never miss it."

183
00:07:29,807 --> 00:07:31,141
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

184
00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:32,342
That old white ladies

185
00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:34,410
need to stop co-opting a sister's skills

186
00:07:34,478 --> 00:07:37,247
in a futile attempt to turn
their Caucasian non-booties

187
00:07:37,314 --> 00:07:38,448
into juicy doubles?

188
00:07:38,516 --> 00:07:39,782
Yes.

189
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,784
But also, it's Friday.

190
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:43,419
I'm gonna take that class!

191
00:07:43,487 --> 00:07:45,021
Mm-hmm.

192
00:07:50,427 --> 00:07:51,394
Oh, my!

193
00:07:51,462 --> 00:07:53,663
I'm s... Larry, I'm so sorry!

194
00:07:53,731 --> 00:07:54,764
You scared me.

195
00:07:54,832 --> 00:07:56,833
Hot tea can't hurt me now.

196
00:07:56,901 --> 00:07:58,701
- Ah. Actually, it can.
- Oh.

197
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,170
But not as much as what Nancy did.

198
00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:02,071
- Nancy?
- The old ball and chain.

199
00:08:02,139 --> 00:08:05,041
She ended it. It's over.

200
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,109
No. What happened?

201
00:08:08,212 --> 00:08:09,679
I'm going to the chiropractor.

202
00:08:09,747 --> 00:08:10,480
Okay.

203
00:08:11,749 --> 00:08:13,016
Unbelievable.

204
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:15,852
Well, I'm sorry, Nancy, but
what's the correct response

205
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:17,854
to "I'm going to the chiropractor"?

206
00:08:17,922 --> 00:08:19,656
Should I hire a marching band?

207
00:08:19,723 --> 00:08:22,258
- You really called that one, huh?
- I did?

208
00:08:22,326 --> 00:08:24,961
"It is what it is." I
mean, you were spot-on.

209
00:08:25,029 --> 00:08:26,829
But that's just a phrase.
It doesn't mean anything.

210
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,498
But we're both bachelors now, Juan Pablo.

211
00:08:28,566 --> 00:08:29,999
I don't know who that is.

212
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:32,135
Should we hit the nudie bars?
The dog track? Head to T.J.?

213
00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:34,370
Oh! Oh, oh! Do you want to
"Wolf of Wall Street" it?

214
00:08:34,438 --> 00:08:35,905
I have a fully stocked lab downstairs.

215
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,373
We could freebase some infant aspirin

216
00:08:37,441 --> 00:08:38,575
and then go kill a drifter!

217
00:08:38,642 --> 00:08:40,710
Let me see how the rest
of my day is looking.

218
00:08:40,778 --> 00:08:42,512
Let me get back to you. I promise...

219
00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:44,914
uh, you have a call at 1:45

220
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,650
that you could probably take
in the car on the way to T.J.

221
00:08:49,954 --> 00:08:51,087
Thanks, Charlie.

222
00:08:54,358 --> 00:08:55,725
Never love, Charlie.

223
00:08:55,793 --> 00:08:57,493
Uh, I won't.

224
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,698
Armed with everything I learned on Yelp,

225
00:09:01,765 --> 00:09:03,633
I hit Joan's dance class
to see if I could increase

226
00:09:03,701 --> 00:09:07,337
my heart rate and my approval rating.

227
00:09:07,404 --> 00:09:08,705
Joan? Holy crap.

228
00:09:08,772 --> 00:09:11,407
Bitch-slap me all over
my whole, entire face.

229
00:09:11,475 --> 00:09:13,843
I cannot believe you go to this class.

230
00:09:13,911 --> 00:09:15,311
I can't believe you go to this class.

231
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:16,446
Are you kidding?

232
00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:17,880
I love the crap out of

233
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:19,649
"straight up now tone me" cardio.

234
00:09:19,717 --> 00:09:21,317
That's how I keep it so tight.

235
00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:22,685
I've never seen you here before.

236
00:09:22,753 --> 00:09:23,853
That is because

237
00:09:23,921 --> 00:09:25,722
I usually go to Mandy's Saturday class...

238
00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,523
Uh, hey, Thottie!

239
00:09:30,527 --> 00:09:32,262
So glad I made it on time.

240
00:09:32,329 --> 00:09:34,430
I stopped to get gas at the, um,

241
00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:37,533
the West Adams Chevron station.

242
00:09:37,601 --> 00:09:39,269
That's the best one in Los Angeles.

243
00:09:39,336 --> 00:09:40,970
I know... it's right off the
10, 8 cents cheaper than inland,

244
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:41,938
plus their additives...

245
00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:43,072
I feel the exact same way.

246
00:09:43,140 --> 00:09:44,741
I find the West Adams
location never crowded

247
00:09:44,808 --> 00:09:46,175
and their mini-mart
well-appointed.

248
00:09:46,243 --> 00:09:47,543
Now, I will say that sometimes...

249
00:09:47,611 --> 00:09:49,112
The numbers on pump 7's keypad stick?

250
00:09:49,179 --> 00:09:51,080
- Yes, but if you...
- Ask Rodriguez, the branch manager...

251
00:09:51,148 --> 00:09:52,482
- he will...
- Wipe them down for you,

252
00:09:52,549 --> 00:09:53,683
And that should
alleviate the problem!

253
00:09:53,751 --> 00:09:55,151
All right, ladies...

254
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,953
Joan had warmed up during the warm-up,

255
00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:58,888
but now we were heading into
more complicated choreography.

256
00:10:00,424 --> 00:10:02,759
And 5, 6, 7, here we go!

257
00:10:36,694 --> 00:10:37,760
Henry.

258
00:10:37,828 --> 00:10:40,563
Thank you for, uh, meeting with me...

259
00:10:40,631 --> 00:10:41,898
In secret.

260
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:42,965
Yes, sir.

261
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:45,201
I firmly believe our corporate family

262
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,137
has a responsibility to
look out for one another,

263
00:10:48,205 --> 00:10:50,373
and I'm worried... about Larry.

264
00:10:51,542 --> 00:10:53,076
I am, too, sir. Uh...

265
00:10:53,143 --> 00:10:55,345
and I know how close the two of you are.

266
00:10:55,412 --> 00:10:57,146
I wouldn't characterize us as, uh...

267
00:10:57,214 --> 00:11:00,416
De did give you a 9 on the
Tatum/Dewan-Tatum scale.

268
00:11:00,484 --> 00:11:01,751
Yes, but...

269
00:11:01,819 --> 00:11:04,987
And I'm told the two of you
microwave burritos together.

270
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:08,157
N-no. One time, I stood near him
while he microwaved a burrito.

271
00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:09,492
One time.

272
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,394
Then you should have no
problem standing by him

273
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,595
during this troubling time.

274
00:11:14,365 --> 00:11:17,734
His wife has left him, Henry.

275
00:11:17,801 --> 00:11:21,838
He's gonna need his
bestie now more than ever.

276
00:11:21,905 --> 00:11:23,139
Uh...

277
00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:25,007
So, what is it that you
would like me to do, sir?

278
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:28,010
It's more what I don't want you to do.

279
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:32,682
Don't... Not be there for him.

280
00:11:34,351 --> 00:11:36,753
So... Be there for him.

281
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:40,056
And if he has nowhere to go...

282
00:11:40,124 --> 00:11:42,191
Don't not let him stay with you.

283
00:11:43,861 --> 00:11:45,428
So let him stay with me?

284
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,331
That's a great idea.

285
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,400
Very generous.

286
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:52,301
Oh, thank you.

287
00:11:52,369 --> 00:11:54,036
Man, you smell good.

288
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,612
Joan! Joan!

289
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:02,847
Wait.

290
00:12:02,914 --> 00:12:04,248
You tore it up in there!

291
00:12:04,316 --> 00:12:06,150
Your footwork during the
breakdown was on point.

292
00:12:06,218 --> 00:12:07,418
Thanks.

293
00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:09,987
You... Showed a lot of spirit.

294
00:12:10,055 --> 00:12:10,988
Thank you.

295
00:12:11,056 --> 00:12:12,490
You know, I think Channing Tatum

296
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:13,958
would be proud of us right now.

297
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,826
Oh. R-right.

298
00:12:15,894 --> 00:12:18,996
Listen, Joan, I know on several occasions,

299
00:12:19,064 --> 00:12:21,298
I've accidentally eaten your belongings.

300
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,468
Those weren't accidents.
I label all my food.

301
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,403
It was blatant disregard.

302
00:12:26,471 --> 00:12:27,738
Exactly.

303
00:12:27,806 --> 00:12:30,474
So let me make it up to
you by buying you dinner.

304
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,010
Joan was on the fence, but
I won her over with a...

305
00:12:33,078 --> 00:12:34,712
Please? Please?
A-please-please?

306
00:12:36,448 --> 00:12:39,483
Gracias, Juan Pablo.

307
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,519
Larry, I really wish
you'd stop calling me that.

308
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,787
H-hey, it's not
jammie-time already, is it?

309
00:12:43,855 --> 00:12:46,357
I don't remember ordering
the early-bird special.

310
00:12:46,424 --> 00:12:47,558
Larry...

311
00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:48,959
look, look. I'm wearing my party shirt.

312
00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:50,794
Let's hit the bars, have some drinks...

313
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:52,229
Find some sisters.

314
00:12:52,297 --> 00:12:53,631
I'll take the ugly one.

315
00:12:53,698 --> 00:12:56,300
Really appreciate the offer,
but I've had a long day.

316
00:12:56,368 --> 00:12:58,168
I need to get some rest. So do you.

317
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,770
Good night, okay?

318
00:12:59,838 --> 00:13:01,238
Ooh. I almost forgot.

319
00:13:01,306 --> 00:13:02,973
Don't use the toilet in the guest bath...

320
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:05,409
She doesn't know...

321
00:13:05,477 --> 00:13:08,312
How much... I need her.

322
00:13:11,116 --> 00:13:12,583
I know.

323
00:13:14,319 --> 00:13:15,519
But you did hear me say

324
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,788
not to use the toilet in
the guest bathroom, right?

325
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,159
Look, Larry, I'm a very solitary person,

326
00:13:22,227 --> 00:13:24,328
and you... Clearly, are not.

327
00:13:24,396 --> 00:13:26,263
Are you sure you don't
want to try to make a run

328
00:13:26,331 --> 00:13:27,531
at getting Nancy back?

329
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,671
Maybe if you made some
big, romantic gesture...

330
00:13:31,303 --> 00:13:32,436
You mean like a flash mob?

331
00:13:32,504 --> 00:13:33,804
That's not where my mind went, no.

332
00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:35,506
Most women consider the flash mob

333
00:13:35,574 --> 00:13:37,575
to be the most romantic
gesture a man can make...

334
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,977
second only to a surprise
proposal on a jumbotron.

335
00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:41,812
Well, it sounds like
you've done your research.

336
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,214
And I'm glad you're being proactive.

337
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,115
Yeah.

338
00:13:45,183 --> 00:13:46,584
Well, let's get some rest.

339
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,152
Good night.

340
00:13:48,853 --> 00:13:50,821
I don't know if we can sleep.

341
00:13:50,889 --> 00:13:52,756
We have so much planning to do.

342
00:13:52,824 --> 00:13:54,024
Do you happen to own a tear-away suit?

343
00:13:54,092 --> 00:13:55,092
You know what?

344
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,127
Don't bother yourself. I'll look.

345
00:13:57,195 --> 00:14:00,130
Larry, I have a seasonal
system with my wardrobe.

346
00:14:00,198 --> 00:14:03,634
The linens
and the tweeds cannot be mixed...

347
00:14:03,702 --> 00:14:04,668
hello?

348
00:14:04,736 --> 00:14:06,503
Henry, guess where I am right now.

349
00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:07,705
Eliza, this is not a good time.

350
00:14:07,772 --> 00:14:09,139
Just guess! Guess!

351
00:14:09,207 --> 00:14:10,407
I'm not in the mood to play games.

352
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,942
But I'm about to make some serious progress

353
00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:13,344
on the assignment you gave me.

354
00:14:13,411 --> 00:14:16,013
I'm outside Joan's house.
She's inside with her husband.

355
00:14:16,081 --> 00:14:18,282
Did they see you? Just
drive away. Drive away!

356
00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:20,651
No, Henry. She invited me.

357
00:14:20,719 --> 00:14:23,153
The research worked. I think she likes me.

358
00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:25,489
I just picked up pizza
for the three of us to eat.

359
00:14:25,557 --> 00:14:27,958
Oh, my God! It's a pizza party!
We're having a pizza party.

360
00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,860
J. Pabs, do you have any scissors?

361
00:14:29,928 --> 00:14:31,095
Ahh!

362
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,730
Never mind.

363
00:14:32,797 --> 00:14:34,531
I have to hang up now.

364
00:14:35,634 --> 00:14:38,302
Oh, goody. Is that the pizza?

365
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:41,138
White pizza from Geppetto's...
that's our favorite.

366
00:14:41,206 --> 00:14:43,841
Geppetto's is the only white pizza
in Los Angeles that travels well.

367
00:14:43,908 --> 00:14:46,276
Sunset magazine voted it "worth the trip."

368
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,845
I tend to agree.

369
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,749
Wait! No! Scott! Don't
eat that! It has oregano!

370
00:14:52,884 --> 00:14:53,917
Joan?

371
00:14:53,985 --> 00:14:55,653
Scott's allergic to oregano, isn't he?

372
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,388
He certainly is.

373
00:14:57,455 --> 00:14:58,355
Scott?

374
00:14:59,591 --> 00:15:00,824
How did you know that?

375
00:15:00,892 --> 00:15:02,359
Well, I thought... I
thought I-I remembered...

376
00:15:02,427 --> 00:15:04,294
she's saying "Scott's allergic to oregano."

377
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,529
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.

378
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:08,332
What's directly across the street

379
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,767
from the West Adams Chevron station?

380
00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:12,870
U-um... Answer!

381
00:15:14,239 --> 00:15:15,305
7-Eleven.

382
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,541
Wrong. It's been an empty lot for years.

383
00:15:17,609 --> 00:15:18,909
Oh, dear God.

384
00:15:18,977 --> 00:15:21,245
She's been Yelp-stalking me.

385
00:15:21,312 --> 00:15:23,647
That's how she found about
Mandy's class and Geppetto's.

386
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,984
I don't think that I can even finish this.

387
00:15:28,319 --> 00:15:29,286
I can.

388
00:15:29,354 --> 00:15:31,588
That pizza is topped with lies.

389
00:15:31,656 --> 00:15:32,423
But not oregano.

390
00:15:34,859 --> 00:15:37,161
I'm sorry.

391
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,463
I'm sorry. I was just
trying to get to know you.

392
00:15:44,669 --> 00:15:47,237
For what it's worth, I feel really bad.

393
00:15:47,305 --> 00:15:49,673
I feel worse
than the night Aaliyah died.

394
00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:52,443
Aaliyah died?

395
00:16:00,118 --> 00:16:01,218
Morning, Charmonique.

396
00:16:01,286 --> 00:16:03,220
Why are you wearing a breakaway suit?

397
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,355
What?

398
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,824
I can tell you're wearing a breakaway suit.

399
00:16:06,891 --> 00:16:07,791
I'm asking why.

400
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,461
Can you keep a secret?

401
00:16:10,528 --> 00:16:13,063
Please don't tell me you're
doing a flash mob with Larry.

402
00:16:13,131 --> 00:16:14,198
How did you know that?

403
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,432
Do you have any idea

404
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,034
how many flash mobs
Larry is responsible for?

405
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,402
What?

406
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:21,438
Half of the flash mobs on the
Internet are Larry-related.

407
00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:24,341
And it better not be for
Nancy, because she hates them.

408
00:16:24,409 --> 00:16:25,309
See?

409
00:16:26,478 --> 00:16:27,811
Oh, God.

410
00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:29,747
Look. This one's from their anniversary.

411
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,515
This one's on her birthday.

412
00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:32,716
Ohhh.

413
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:35,586
And this one... he catches Nancy off guard,

414
00:16:35,653 --> 00:16:37,521
she slips, throws her back out.

415
00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:39,423
Larry thinks a flash mob
is gonna get his wife back.

416
00:16:39,491 --> 00:16:40,424
Nope.

417
00:16:40,492 --> 00:16:42,226
This is just another indication

418
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:45,028
that he doesn't listen to Nancy
or care about what she wants.

419
00:16:45,096 --> 00:16:47,598
I'm gonna be stuck with him forever.

420
00:16:47,665 --> 00:16:48,732
Mm-hmm.

421
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:49,867
Oh, my... God.

422
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,103
I feel sick.

423
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,509
Charlie!

424
00:16:58,576 --> 00:17:01,078
Find Larry. The flash mob is off.

425
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,212
But... but what?

426
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,514
I'll never get to do this.

427
00:17:08,586 --> 00:17:10,120
Clean all this up.

428
00:17:13,358 --> 00:17:16,326
First find Larry, then clean all this up.

429
00:17:16,394 --> 00:17:18,061
Okay.

430
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,734
I blew it.

431
00:17:23,802 --> 00:17:27,337
It was going so well, and
then I messed it all up.

432
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:29,139
Wait... w-w-what are
you talking about?

433
00:17:29,207 --> 00:17:30,140
Joan.

434
00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:32,142
I told you it wouldn't work.

435
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:34,244
Well, you said it yourself...

436
00:17:34,312 --> 00:17:36,079
she's a miraclesuit and you are a monokini.

437
00:17:36,147 --> 00:17:38,215
But the women in this
office love miraclesuits.

438
00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:40,551
And they don't love me because
I'm a synthetic monokini

439
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:42,486
made in a factory by a sweatshop baby.

440
00:17:42,554 --> 00:17:43,921
No offense to your family.

441
00:17:43,988 --> 00:17:47,891
My family owns a buca di
beppo, but... Still offended.

442
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:50,494
The... the truth of the matter is...

443
00:17:50,562 --> 00:17:52,596
I'm no better at office
friendships than you are.

444
00:17:52,664 --> 00:17:55,499
You? The great Henry the great?

445
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,702
Listen, I made it seem like
I was friends with Larry,

446
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:02,439
when the truth is, I can't
spend 24 hours with that guy.

447
00:18:02,507 --> 00:18:04,308
And what he did to that drifter was wrong.

448
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,976
What did he do to the drifter?

449
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,377
And the only reason that I agreed

450
00:18:07,445 --> 00:18:10,581
to wear three breakaway
suits to the office today...

451
00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:13,450
Is that I thought it would
help me get rid of Larry,

452
00:18:13,518 --> 00:18:14,718
who I have learned

453
00:18:14,786 --> 00:18:16,987
is the most annoying
person on planet earth.

454
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:17,921
Hi, Larry.

455
00:18:17,989 --> 00:18:19,923
God.

456
00:18:19,991 --> 00:18:20,991
Really?

457
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,293
You know something, Henry?

458
00:18:23,361 --> 00:18:26,363
I feel a zero for you right now.

459
00:18:26,431 --> 00:18:27,364
A zero.

460
00:18:27,432 --> 00:18:29,533
Hey.

461
00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:31,168
You got the same as me.

462
00:18:35,829 --> 00:18:38,066
Look, Larry, I-I'm
sorry I lost my cool.

463
00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:39,902
I guess I'm overtired from not sleeping,

464
00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:41,169
cutting all my suits in half,

465
00:18:41,237 --> 00:18:42,804
trying to learn dance choreography,

466
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,686
and plunging my guest bathroom,

467
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,483
which I specifically asked you not to use.

468
00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:48,251
But please believe me when I tell you...

469
00:18:48,319 --> 00:18:50,220
the flash mob is a bad idea.

470
00:18:50,288 --> 00:18:52,255
If you want to get your wife back,

471
00:18:52,323 --> 00:18:54,424
it doesn't require a '90s dance track.

472
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,263
A smaller gesture would mean more.

473
00:19:08,306 --> 00:19:10,340
Uh, Henry would like to
see you in his office.

474
00:19:10,408 --> 00:19:11,742
Mm-hmm.

475
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:18,849
Since it seems you're still determined

476
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:20,784
to eat lunch over a trash can,

477
00:19:20,852 --> 00:19:22,185
I had Charlie buy you that.

478
00:19:22,253 --> 00:19:24,921
I kept the receipt. They had other designs.

479
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:27,457
It's cute.

480
00:19:27,525 --> 00:19:28,859
Go ahead. Try it out.

481
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,901
It works. I like it.

482
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,036
Good job, Charlie.

483
00:19:39,103 --> 00:19:40,470
Thanks.

484
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,579
Is this your way of trying
to get me to eat with you?

485
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:50,847
Not with me...  near me.

486
00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:52,382
I know how important
it is for your digestion

487
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:53,383
to eat standing up.

488
00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:58,955
Actually... That's just an excuse I use

489
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:02,392
because growing up, no one ever
wanted to sit with me at lunch.

490
00:20:04,062 --> 00:20:05,529
Now I'm just kind of used to it.

491
00:20:06,531 --> 00:20:07,564
Well, in that case...

492
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,471
Is this seat taken?

493
00:20:16,707 --> 00:20:19,009
When a friendship is real, you can feel it.

494
00:20:19,077 --> 00:20:20,644
And no disrespect to Channing Tatum,

495
00:20:20,711 --> 00:20:22,412
but it probably doesn't need to be rated

496
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,947
on a scale of 1 to 10.

497
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:27,017
Although if I were going to...  6.

498
00:20:27,085 --> 00:20:28,952
4.7.

499
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:32,055
Which rounds up to a 5.

500
00:20:32,123 --> 00:20:35,392
Maybe we didn't suck at
office friendships after all.

501
00:20:37,395 --> 00:20:39,296
So, where do you want to eat dinner?

502
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,397
Your call.

503
00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:41,965
Hmm.

504
00:20:53,277 --> 00:20:54,377
Raj, I canceled!

505
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,446
I-I swear, I canceled.

506
00:20:59,281 --> 00:21:03,393
Sync and corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com

507
00:21:03,443 --> 00:21:07,993
Repair and Synchronization by
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